Saturday, September 30, 2006
What does loyalty mean to you?
This week has been full of ups and downs. Its been emotionally draining beyond belief. Many times all I've been able to think or say is "I don't know". As you know (or don't know yet), I work with bands. Musicians are extremely introverted and more times than not will keep their feelings to themselves. Then, it seems out of nowhere will just say they are not happy and that you are not doing a good job and they want to leave the relationship. I am a person that takes things very personally. I know I should allow these things to roll off of me, but I don't. I just think about all that I should have done (even if there is nothing more I could have done). I think about how I've failed. It makes me question my abilities and whether or not I'm doing what I should be doing in a career. Ultimately though, it makes me angry. I am a very loyal person. If you are one of my people, I'll go to bat for you no matter what. I don't understand how other people don't have this trait. I don't understand how many people seem to just be about themselves and what is best for them no matter how it may hurt others. Or maybe it is that I'm just jealous that other people have the ability to screw others and I seem to always get bitten back when I try to do what is best for me no matter who I screw. So, is loyalty a long forgotten trait? Have you experienced loyalty in those around you? Are there things we should do to perserve the notion of loyalty?
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I think loyalty is a trait that is drilled into you as a child by your parents, or you are naturally conscious of it. Otherwise, I don't think people care about discarding relationships or betrayal of trust or standing up for other people if it was never established as being an important thing when they were kids.
I take things personally too, because I'm very loyal also. Actually, I would say that my one brother and I were raised to be loyal, almost to a fault, where you are true to another person at your own expense if need be.
But I don't think it's anything to be ashamed of or worried about changing. True loyalty is a rare thing, I think, and you should not change, stay true!
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