Saturday, July 22, 2006

Whewww...made it through the week

Hooray...the week is OVER. This week was such a pain. People are a pain. I wish people would just stick to their word instead of constantly wanting YOU to be flexible after you already agreed to a certain thing. When I agree to do something I will do it...okay, maybe not RIGHT away all the time...but I'll get it done EVENTUALLY. REALLY. But seriously..once you agree to do something...don't try and renegotiate and manipulate people to get what you want. So frustrating. I really let the actions of others get to me. I wish I had tougher skin sometimes.'s to a weekend of not allowing others to get to me! I'm checking out a new church tomorrow and I"m looking forward to it. Hopefully it will be what I'm looking for. God week will be less stressful!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


What do you do when you feel completely overwhelmed with life in general?

Yeah...that's the post. Not too profound...but I created this site as a place to be honest instead of hiding behind silence.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Can't Really Think of a Title to This One

What a week. And its only Wednesday. This week has definately had its share of turmoil and ICK. Tonight I found out that my Grandpa died Saturday. I don't know any details. I just found on Google that he was in AZ and I didn't even know he had left Vancouver. I don't even remember the last time we spoke. I'm trying to conjure up a memory and its hard to even picture his face. Wow. That is pretty messed up. When I was young he was a decent Grandpa. I liked going to his house. After my parents got divorced, I saw less and less of him. That kinda makes me think that my mom had a say in us going to see Grandpa when I was little. The relationship that my dad had with his dad was pretty non-existent. I learned so much from the mistakes that my Grandparents made. I see how having his father abandon him has effected my dad and his ability to relate to us kids...especially my brother. I see the struggle he has to try and be as much of a dad as he knows how. It is tough. Its a cycle that must be broken. My dad is definately a better dad than his dad was. My brother seems to be doing a great job raising his little girls. I pray that if I do ever get to have kids that my home will be amazing for them to grow up in. This whole broken home thing is a mess.

Friday, July 07, 2006

Ohhhhhh, so you would rather do that...

People take the words committment and honor pretty lightly. This seems to be the case in many areas of life. I always had this child-like view that people would do what they said they would do, especially when it comes to working in ministry. That doesn't seem to be the reality. People all the time bounce from one relationship to another; whether its personal or a business relationship. Loyalty doesn't really seem to be a word in their dictonary. This lack of loyalty baffles me. I am such a loyal person. My closest friends have been friends practically my whole life. I would do anything in my power for those people that are "in the circle". So, its the most insane thing when I look around and realize that not everyone is like that. In fact, very few people are like that. I have seen it so many times here..people use you to get to the next level. They want to see how much they can get you to do for them and then they'll find someone else when they think they've gotten all they want from you. its disgusting. Another thing that confuses me in the world of committment is the lack of follow through when you say you'll do something and either you just don't do it or you don't do it like you said. I have to admit that I need to be much better in this area. It just seems like there is no use in asking people to do things for you or giving them a task because in the end, we all just do what we want. Why is that? Is the English language so trite that our words hold absolutely no meaning? if you say you'll do something, then do it and do it the best you can. Your reputation is on the line. I for one desire to be a trustworthy you? The only way to be trustworthy is to stick to your word, do the things that are asked of you if you'll say you'll do them, and do things to the very best of your ability. Don't run away from responsibility when it gets tough or if something better comes along. Stick to your committments. In the end, that is all we have.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Dealing with Puke and other fun things in life...

So tonight, I was getting ready for bed. All relaxed..yep, sleep would be happening at any time. Then the ick happens! My little dog decided to slowly get off the bed and I look down and she is yaking up a storm. Needless to say, I get up and take care of my "baby" and the huge mess in my room. Now, its 1am, the dog is sound asleep on the living room floor and I'm in the living room (instead of sleeping) making sure all is well. Whenever this stuff happens, I think about what its gonna be like to be a "real mom". Dealing with stuff coming out of all ends, worrying about them, getting up in the middle of the night for various reasons and so many other things that I cannot even begin to imagine. It definately seems like a curious world...but then who ever thought I would be sitting up in the middle of the night watching my dog for any signs of trouble.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Welcome to Jr. High...

Remember the days when you had to deal with *those people*. You know the ones. We'll all encountered them or have been one of them from time to time. I'm talking about the people that you never knew where you stood with. You could never figure them out. Never knew if you were "in the crowd" or if you had done something to be banished. So aren't we suppose to be past this stuff? Aren't we suppose to be adult enough to talk about what's bugging us about someone? Shouldn't we know how to deal with people face to face? No? We haven't grown up past that 12 year old? Ohhhhh....that makes complete sense. :) (insert complete sense of sarcasm here)

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