Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Friday, September 11, 2009


Life has been..messy lately. Circumstances have entered my life that are completely out of my control. I am experiencing an extremely deep loss and going through multiple versions of the grief process. My extended family is experiencing a situation that I would not wish on anyone. Its heart-wrenching. I can't go into a ton of detail because I'm not sure how far this news has gotten, but I'm feeling so many different things and its part of my experience. So here I go.
I am really struggling with what love really means and how you live that out. How do you love someone and reconcile that love with anger over their wrong actions. How do you accept someone in spite of a devastating hurt? My faith tells me that God loves me unconditionally and that I need to love others in that same way. But my humanity tells me that I'm angry, sad, ripped apart because of the actions of someone else. There are just no right answers in all this. There is no good outcome. There are consequences. Life has been completely turned upside down, inside out and ripped into little sheds all over this. So, I sit here wondering how to love in the face of all of this and how that love really looks. And maybe not how to still love them, but how to like them.

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