Insanity

This business of moving is crazy. I'm working all day and then lugging stuff to the new place at night. Its been a SLOW process. I'm ready to be done and settled in to my new house. It is sounding like the girl that I originally met with to be my roommate is still interested. I can't wait to have more disposable income...any amount of disposable income. This past year has been rough on me not being able to have any steady spending money. I'm one of those people that will buy something just because have any extra money after months of having to watch every single penny. So, it is going to be good for me to have a more consistant cushion. So PLEASE God let me get a roommate. (I NEVER thought I would say that)
One of the band that I work with decided to break up. Its so strange the dynamic that changes when you quit a job. It just dawned on me...like when you give your 2 weeks notice at work, many of us stop caring. We get lax. This is what is happening. Committments are not being followed through. Messes are being generated and its up to ME to clean them up. This makes me a firm believer in sticking with your committments. See them out to the very end...even when you can see the end in sight!
And my final thought of this post. My body is kicking my butt. I had been diagnosed with PCOS about a year or so ago and it is currently in full swing. Things have been fine for quite a while...even without medication...but for the last 2 months, not so much. My emotions are all over the place. I have things happening that I really don't want to discuss, but I feel extremely gross. I don't have insurance because I haven't been able to afford self-employed insurance (I NEED a roommate), so my mind has been racing with all the things that could be wrong with me. And knowing that PCOS can lead to...I'm scared sh*&less right now. I'm so sad that my body doesn't know how to work right...that every day I am dealing with the fact that things are not right or things would have stopped by NOW. I'm tired of feeling tired all. the. time. I'm so sad that even if someone can get past the fact that I'm this icky mess, that I'm probably never going to feel a person growing inside of me. So those are my insane ramblings for today. I'm sure more are to come...